Healing My Bleeding Heart
by All That Remains
Summary: The moment I met Rory Gilmore, I knew my life would never be the same again." Dean's POV Set during Season 3


Disclaimer: Do I really need one? You already know I don't own it.  
  
A/N: This might be OOC for Dean, but I'm sorry. This is taking place before "That'll Do, Pig."  
  
Dedications: The usual dedications and to the ghost of Rory and Dean.  
  
The moment I met Rory Gilmore, I knew my life would never be the same again. She was my friend, my soul mate, my everything. I was really, truly happy with her. She opened my eyes to new things (do you really think I would ever read Tolstoy on my own?).  
  
The moment we broke up for good, my world shattered. I felt like a huge piece of me was missing. What hurt the most about it is that she really wanted to be with him.  
  
Jess.  
  
Honestly, when I first met him, I thought he was nice. After all, Rory spoke so highly of him. All that changed when I tried to break up a fight between Jess and some random kid. All I tried to do was help him and he tried to punch me. That's when I started hating him. When I saw him and Rory giving each other "the eye," that made me hate him more than ever. And now I lost her. To him.  
  
It's all his fault. He kept hitting on her. I could tell. He took her for ice-cream in the car that I made her and destroyed it.  
  
Wait, no. It's all her fault. Rory skipped school to see him. She flirted with him behind my back. She kissed him behind my back (I heard them while they were arguing in the supermarket, but I never told her I knew and I never will). I wish she broke up with me before she kissed him.  
  
No, it's my fault. I saw what was going on between them and I tried to do all these things for Rory in hopes that she would still want to be with me, but instead of bringing her closer I pushed her farther away.  
  
I don't know what I'm saying! I haven't been able to think things clearly anymore. I don't even know who I am anymore, but I'm not the person I used to be. I was never possessive and clingy and jealous. But, that was before I met Rory. I never told another girl that I loved her. Now, Rory's gone and I don't feel sane anymore.  
  
Every time Rory and Jess were merely in the same building together, it would make me insanely angry. But, it wasn't until tonight when I realized how insane I was.  
  
It was February. I never really saw Rory and Jess around town together. But, this month they started walking all over town and making out. I literally felt my face burn, I was so angry.  
  
Tonight I was coming home from a late hockey practice and I headed over to Luke's. I was really hungry and mom would be working late and I really wasn't in the mood for bagel bites (even though my sister, Clara, loved them).  
  
So, I decided to get a burger to go from there when I saw Rory and Jess leaning over the counter kissing and smiling and laughing. I couldn't take it. It made me sick. I wanted to rip my hockey stick out of my bag and beat Jess to death with it.  
  
Without thinking, I walked across the street and took my hockey stick out of my bag and back across the street ready to beat the hell out of Jess. But, I stopped at the window and caught a glimpse of Rory's face.  
  
Her smile was lighting up her face like a Christmas light. Her eyes sparkled like diamonds. She looked so happy with him. I didn't want to destroy that face. If I beat him, god knows what her face would look like. And if I really did that, would she ever speak to me? Let alone look at me?  
  
The anger that I felt slowly drained from me and I was suddenly tired. I walked away and put my hockey stick back in my bag and walked home. Later, Clara and I ordered a pizza and ended up watching some show on Nickelodeon.  
  
All I can think about is how crazy I was. I can't believe what I'm doing to myself. This isn't healthy or normal. Things have to change.  
  
There are other girls out there. Todd told me that this girl Lindsay Something-or-other has a crush on me and I've seen her around school. Sure, I don't know her last name, but I've seen her. She's really pretty. I think I should ask her out. Maybe it'll take my mind off Rory.  
  
Also, Rory said she wanted to be friends, so that's what I'm going to do. I'm going to be friends with her if she still wants me to be. Maybe she'll see me in a different life.  
  
However, no matter what I do, a small part of my heart will always love Rory Gilmore and always will.  
  
The End  
  
A/N: I hope that wasn't too sappy or OOC. I've never really written fics like this before. Tell me what you think. Flames are welcome. P.S. KEEP READING MARRIED WITH KIDS!!!!! 


End file.
